Starting Over (3) Gimme Shelter II

Getting to know the other residents wasn't easy -- we were all a bit wary and frightened and had serious trust issues but slowly but surely I got acquainted with my housemates and we all shared our stories. I actually felt lucky as I wasn't as badly treated as many others and mentioned it to a counselor there. She told me that abuse was abuse and that's the bottom line. I came to learn that we were all sisters in this and that for every one of there at the shelter, there were ten who were still being abused. Sad.

We all had chores around the house even if we worked. My job was cleaning the bathrooms and running the dishwasher. Fortunately, everyone tried to be neat and it wasn't too difficult.

One night one of the girls I felt closest to had a bad case of the blues and couldn't stop crying. I sat up with her all night and we talked and cried and cried and talked. About a week later I was in the midst of a similar episode and she said, "Does this mean I have to stay up all night with you?" I managed a wry grin and said, "Probably" and so she did. We still keep in touch sporadically despite her having moved to another city.

I knew I had to get a job -- fast. Twenty-five dollars doesn't last long so I scoured the Sunday paper for possibilities for fast money. Job opportunities were thin on the ground, as they always are during the holidays, but I garnered an interview the next day for a part-time customer service position the next day. One of the counselors took me on my interview and I was, amazingly enough, hired immediately to start the next week. I wasn't particularly thrilled but money is money and this job paid better than a lot of things and gave me time to look for something better. That I got a job was a cause for celebration when I got back to the shelter.

I called my caseworker, Laura, and she was delighted. She arranged for me to go to Social Security to apply for disability and also an appointment with the housing authority the next day. The former never happened until a year ago and the latter approved me for housing assistance and gave me a list of approved housing so we would be searching for an apartment for me soon. It was another cause for celebration at the shelter. That night a couple of us were talking about Christmas as we were decorating the tree and came up with an idea we liked and decided to bring it up at group the next morning.

We broached the idea with our counselor. We had decided that we were far too into ourselves and had decided that doing something to help others would be good for us and take us out of our doldrums. The suggestion was that we bake cookies and take them to a nursing home and visit and sing carols. A light bulb went of in my brain as I recalled that there was a small home for elderly women and said that we should go there. Everyone agreed enthusiastically -- especially our counselor -- who seemed rather surprised at what we wanted to do. (I learned later that our group was rather rare.) Stelly, who was moving out that weekend, even said she would come
back to go with us. Our counselor said she would make the arrangements for us. We were thrilled!!! When we had a date, we started baking and practicing carols for the ladies. When the day came it was fun!!!!!!! The ladies loved us and we had a blast talking and singing with them. It was good medicine for everyone.

In the meantime, I was going to therapy and Laura and I were looking for an apartment for me in the morning and I went to work in the afternoons learning the ins and outs of the local transit system -- it took three buses and an hour and a half to get there. I had assessed the general area where I wanted to live. We looked at several that were okay but nothing I really liked. Then I heard of a place that was pretty much in the area I wanted that sounded great so we went and looked at it. It was in a 75 year old building right on the bus line and when I walked in and saw the fireplace in the big living room, I said, "Where do I sign?" I fell in love -- it had nice big airy rooms except for the kitchen and huge windows -- and I signed and called the housing authority with the information before I went to work. They told me they would let me know when I could move in.

A few days later, we had the annual shelter Christmas party and were surprised to see that alumna and their children were invited and my gang pledged that we, too, would attend next year. I sat on Santa's lap and told him I wanted a million bucks and guess what he said? "The check is in the mail." Sigh.

Christmas was only a week away and our numbers were dwindling. No one new had come in and Stelly had moved into her place and Linda and her boys had gotten a place, too. Lee was moving in with her sister until she could get a job and a place of her own. Cissy finally got custody of her other son and was going to be leaving to go stay with her parents in a city about an hour away. My apartment's inspection was delayed by a couple blizzards. I was going to be the lone resident in the shelter for Christmas.

This is taking much longer than I thought. I'll be back with my Christmas at the shelter soon.

Happy Blogging!!!!!!!!

Kay