Midlife Changes - (2)

I continued my job search sporadically to no avail and spent a lot of time writing and was blessed to have a short story published in a small, obscure literary magazine. That I knew the editor helped but he said he loved it and he isn't given to undeserved praise. One would think that would have encouraged me to write more but it didn't. I wasn't very happy with myself; depression and panic attacks were rampant.

I was my kids' biggest fan as they entered high school and rarely missed a soccer game or a swimming or track meet. My son was from his early years the sort of athlete who studied the sports he enjoyed and became more so when he went to high school. It was fun watching how the things they learned as youngsters evolved into true gifts as teens. They were good students, good athletes and good people so that was one less thing to worry about. Both were late bloomers which was no great surprise to us since my husband and I were the same. Dating and the accompanying dramas came late to our house and I breathed a sigh of relief. My daughter worried me a lot because she tended to be quiet and a loner. She was different than most kids her age and didn't fit in -- some of the cruel things that were done to her were shocking and neither the school nor the perpetrators seemed to care. Still, she seemed to weather it well and called me her best friend as we could talk about anything and everything. My son was the same way. Today I wonder where those kids went.

The summer before my son's senior year, I was talking on the phone with a friend one morning and was surprised when my husband came home and he didn't look well. I hastily said my good-byes. When I hung up, he said, "They got me." There was a lot of "downsizing" going on in the large, well-known company where he had worked as a computer tech for twenty-two years and anyone and everyone was vulnerable. I replied, "It will be all right." and we both cried.

It wasn't all right. We discovered that instead of calling his dismissal what it was, they called it a layoff and on interviews he was told, "You're laid off -- you'll go back." -- and they wouldn't listen to his explanations to the contrary. We also learned that despite his knowing all the "hot" computer programs inside out, no one wanted him without the certifications. His company bought the programs and gave them to employees and said, "Learn them." instead of bringing in a trainer so they'd get the proper documentation. It hurt him terribly and angered and depressed him because he really loved his work. He'd always had a terrible temper and it got worse and worse. He never made a lot of money but we managed pretty well but had little in savings. Losing his job was a disaster in ohhhhhhhhhh so many ways.

My son asked if he should forget about college. I told him "No!" His swimming coach had told him he could get a scholarship and I went to work looking for one for him. We knew he wasn't superstar Olympics caliber but coach thought he would be excellent in smaller colleges and we trusted his judgement. We put together a resume of his academic and athletic accomplishments with his best times in all his swimming events and mailed them out to about a dozen or so schools.

Imagine our surprise when almost all of them called and invited us to visit! We also got calls and letters from other colleges and we travelled Ohio, western Pennsylvania and West Virginia visiting the schools that looked promising. Mostly it was my son and I but sometimes my daughter and/or dad would come along. It was good for her because she got a pretty good idea of what she was looking for in a college so the next year it when it was her turn to college shop it was almost a no-brainer.

He wound up at an excellent small private college in north central Ohio with academic and athletic scholarships where he went on to earn six All-American plaques in addition to becoming something of a big man on campus.

My daughter also wound up with scholarship to a excellent small private college in northeast Ohio where she was a success socially, academically and athletically. The first was important because of her awful high school experience.

My husband wound up taking really awful jobs outside his field and it took his toll on him. With the kids gone, I became more depressed and took all sorts of horrid jobs. Both of us were quickly approaching our fifties and the job market here had begun it's slide to hell. Needless to say, none of this was good for our shaky at best marriage.

That's enough for this week!!!! Tune in again as the saga continues . . .

Happy Blogging!!!!!!!!!!!

Kay